Beestonian Debris

Its a funny old place, is Beestonia. I was talking to friends in London recently and my tales of the place and its veritable oddness raise more than a few disbelieving eyebrows. I haven’t even scratched the surface on this blog; as yet many of my more salacious tales are still subject to me typing them out in detail then deciding not to publish in the cold light of sobriety. They sit on my computer, imprisoned within word files  waiting for my internal judge to exonerate and set them free…but till then, the tales of Parzone, Beestons Most Wonderfully Camp Psycho; The Village Hotel Sauna Chronicles and The Horrific Journal of a WineBarrel Regular must remain behind bars.

But until then, a few little smithereens of my experience of this great suburb/Empire.


Politics: The election is still a few months off, May most likely. Regular readers will both know that my particular allegiances lie in support of the incumbent MP, and as suCh I was pretty unhappy to see a recent schism in a coalition that seemed to be forming. Beeston itself is stratified diversely on a political level, but on a Borough level, where we are all Broxtonians, we are represented by a reasonably strong Labour party.  The Tories however are a strong threat, MP Palmer’s majority well within a swing to the Dark Side, where doth lie Anne Soubry, the perma-tanned, big haired former TV presenter who isn’t Robert Kilroy Silk. Back to the dark Tory days of Jim Lester will be not good for here, even if you believe Nu-Labour needs a clear-out on a Parliamentary level.

Despite never meeting him, I will declare an interest here in that Nick has been a supporter of this blog for some time, but my appreciation of him, as I suppose his appreciation of my work, is all down to merit. He has been an effective, honest MP for the 12 years we’ve had him, and the constituency has benefited through his diligence.  There, I said it. I wrote to Jim Lester in 1993 about concerns regarding the Criminal Justice Bill fermenting in Parliament, he didnt even honour me a reply.

It seemed that party politics were being put to the side by the bizarre but brilliant coalition springing up here, where the Lib Dems agree to get tactical and back Palmer at the expense of the Tories. Even more weirdly, but rather hearteningly, a significant wing of the Tories also decided to back Palmer.

They were reprimanded by Dave himself, quite wonderfully. I was once called a ‘Very rude young man’ by Anne Widdecombe after ringing her PA after the 2001 General Election for a comment for the BBC , a moment tht ranks in the top 5 of my proudest moments on earth. I thus hope the Tories for Palmer get such a warm glow. There is something oddly amusing about getting told off by a Tory. Its like being spanked with the 1950’s.

But there are fractures, with the Lib Dems suddenly deciding that, ah, they do have a greater chance here, thus they cant set aside. There are possibly much more hidden, diverse, complex reasons why they have backtracked so, and Im not that well connected to say. Or even postulate. I will say however, the Carrs, who run a chunk of Beeston for Nick Whatsisname’s Party, would be best off backing down. To not do so is tacitly -an they know how the land lies here-backing a Tory Broxtowe. They hold what is a trump card in deciding a hung parliament, surely the whole point of their existence until the world swings custard-coloured.  Heres hoping they’ll not swing right.

Part two will follow tomorrow.