Escape to Beestonia…Part Two: Here she comes!

Its all been very exciting here.  Teri is 24 hours away from the Rockaway Hotel. But my, is she getting on edge. She must be a nervous flyer…. here we go, I swear I couldn’t make this anymore bizarre if I tried…




Oops! Forgot all about her for a moment. I explain my predicament

I have been in much trouble today, I need you to tell me all is ok as my mind and heart are aching so. Today was a bank holiday in the UK, and I couldn’t withdraw money from my account. I can only take £300 a day from an ATM, but will have to wait until tomorrow to get the full amount sorted.

Is everything ok my love? I was very angry when i saw the bank was closed and was in trouble with the police, but they let me go after I promised not to push anything else through their letterbox.

Can you wait a few more hours? I am so so worried I need to take some pills. Please tell me all is ok.

I just wish you were safe here, sitting on a sofa full of dollars.

Miss you


She replies. Poor, confused Teri…

I dont get you?




I cannot get to banks as it is 1.22 am here! Though there is hope!!!

Are you ok????? Tell me!! I have been nearly dying sitting here! God has deserted me, i keep asking him for guidance, and all I hear is BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ but that may be my medication. Help!

I need you to tell me you are ok, I found a way to get the money to you before the banks are opened!

I have done bad things to a goat to help my luck! Its loss will make you here, its what i NEED. Tell me what we can do! I can HELP! NO MORE SACRIFICE!!!!



Now, the rest of this happens whilst I got seriously familiar with a box of red wine… the more I drink, the more fun this becomes… her patience now ebbs

When will you be able to send me the money?


I decide to see if I can wring some cash out of her, just for the sake of irony….

I can send it NOW!! I have found a WAY!! Like Jesus always could!! But different!!! Western Union will let me send a maximum of $1,500 to you NOW and then again $1,500 dollars once that has been processed. I talked to the man on the phone he is also a Christian, we are all BLESSED. We need what is called an ‘ATL’ first, this is basically proof the transaction runs between two places and is therefore doesnt have to pass through their administration!

This is normally an lenghty, time consuming route, but I told him that their was A CHRISTIAN IN TROUBLE, and promised him and his sick mother a prayer session if he could speed stuff up, his name is Rui, and he is in the Western Union office in Delhi…you want his number? He is a very nice man. Though he will never love me like I love you.

All you have to do is put the smallest of currency through a link here

I have my bank details here so it will show up, and automate the system so I can send the money. Just send one cent, it will count!!!! I will give it you back, in cash or in kind!!!

We are running out of time. You maybe losing your mind over this with your flight soon but worry not my sweet love, I love you, and even if you fly, angels have wings, and wings make you fly.

Be fast, I cant keep Rui on hold much longer, we need to get the money to you

I’m dying here

Revive me



This throws her into a tail-spin

I dont understand all this Matt.I am so confused.
My bags are packed
And my flight is tonight.Right now i still dont get what you are trying to say?

I dont know what to think?
Are you trying to say you can send the $3000 at once

And you friend Rui is in Delhi?
Where is Delhi?

I am so hurt right now.
Please explain


Oh dear…i try and settle her fluttering heart

All i need to do, is show Rui in Delhi (Delhi is in India-its a country i think near you- where they process transactions for Western Union )

He says that you have to deposit one cent to me before i can send, I am very angry with him but he says its the LAW!!!

I say there is no LAW apart from the LAW OF JESUS CHRIST THE SAVIOUR but he says there is and that you must put one cent into western accounts, even if one cent before he can let the money go. I hate him, and he will burn in hell when we are together, but for now, i cannot change.

I have $3,012 -the exchange rate has fluctuated- ready right now! I am SO excited I could ache. But SO worried you miss your flight I know a CHRISTIAN website you can use! Just donate one cent or a DOLLAR or two cents and Rui in Delhi will let the money to you, then we will be together!

I know im probably being silly with my love here, but $3,012 is worth IT!!!





Surely  this will calm her? Errrr, nope.

I still dont get this.
How do you want me to donate this?
I dont have any credit or debit cards no more because i cancelled all.because i dont want traces of me after i leave.How come the money is coming from India?
What did you do?And were you able to send money to Rui?
I still dont get all this.

Babe as soon as i arrive we can have enough money to send to Rui and donate to many other charities.

There is no way i can do donations when i dont have cards.
Do you understand me?

I dont know what to thinkanymore


Its 2.55am now, and I’m clinging onto reality with frequent top-ups of very poor red wine.

I only want my money to go to you now!!!! There is another option

Rui (my mobile an out of battery power when I was shouting at him) said that any way you can forward me money to facilitate what he calls a ‘bridge’ would be good. I think he means our transaction would be legitimate, cos there are bad people out there! Its horrible to think we could be seen in such a way,, its almost enough to make me want to slaughter something!!! I wont though, I have no things.

What can we do???????




Let him deduct it from the $3012 and send me the rest
Am really becoming sick right nowAnd i feel you my hope is letting me down
I am holding on to the lord
‘This is my last chance of a new life
And i have no intention of hurting anyone.I am willing to donate alot to charity,orphanage and anyone who needs help
Its alot of money we can donate or buy instruments for the church

I have a good heart
And i have always been taken advantage of because i am so simple
I am in tears now and confused


Poor, simple Teri…. best console her…..

Oh baby! Do not cry! Yours tears will be like acid ‘pon my brow.

I am helping. Just tell me how. I need to know the orphanage will be able to blow a bassoon soon, else my heart will split.

I am doing everything I can, and its 3am here. I am drinking RedBull to stay awake though I was told by my doctors not to as thats what ‘happened last time’.

I am needing you to say I can just send you $1,500 when my bank opens at 9am local time and the rest when you are on the plane????

Reply soon, I have weak innards and cannot take the stress



Babe will you be able to send the $1500 by 9 your time?
That will be great.What about the last $1500?How do you expect me to board a plane without the complete BTA…
And i cross my heart and swear to you with my heart that i will fulfil my promise of donating to the church and orphanage.

Whats your plan


Oh my love, my all, my bride!

I have tried to tell Western Union this, they say there is too much bad in the world for me to give it like this! I am amazed! May God smite them with FIRE and WORMS and may they suffer! How DARE they say our love is not real!

I told Rui this and he hung up so I dont know what we do???? I donated $500 to the charity but I am still blocked! What is happening??????????????? I know I have no problem with the money but I need to give it to MY LOVE not some people who are HATED by god because of their sin.

I need another route, I can meet you in Birmingham and give you the money. I can wait at the gate, though you will see me with ease, I wear a smock.

Tell me darling, im breaking down!


Cant you make the $1 donation to him and tell him?
Why would this stop our progress.Is wednesday too far to wait when we can donate an unbelieveable amount to any orphanage or charity he wants?
I am so nervous and confused hereAnd i dont know what to think


I assume I nodded off here, cos she sends me another email before I reply:

Matt there is western union everywhere
Around corner stores everywhere in the world
Why must it be Rui?Do you understand how complicated this is for me?
My flight is midnight and i still have no idea about my preparation?
I have to hold in hand cash that i will have to show at the entry point.I believe your email simply states you dont trust me right?
I am so confused and devastated right now.

I dont know what to think and my body is shaking.



Blimey, shes shaking. This calls for radical action.


I have phoned my church, they were not happy cos they sleeping.

I told them ‘GOD NEVER SLEEPS’ and they were very rude to me, I cannot believe it.

And I think, I DONT NEED GOD, because GOD only lets me and you down Terry, he doesn’t want US to be together. If GOD, or from now, god, is so cruel to stop my love, then he is an EVIL god. He is gone. Now it is me and you.

I did something bad and I stole the $3,000 dollars from the church. I know you must think I am a criminal,, but I saw no option. All I want is you. I saw your picture and 3 years of LOVE suddenly ROSE UP and hit me in the face. It is you and me Terry. Thats all I know now.

We will start a new religion just me and you. What do you want to call it? I think TERRYISM is great.Or something with goats as I like goats.

And my fire engine, that we dont forget.

I am your teddy bear forever



I then decide to take this even further into the realms of the weird. Its gone 4am and I am somewhere between fatigued and drunk. I slip an old PAYT SIM into an old phone, and send the following:

I need you to call me

my number is +447*********

ring me

I can then know what to do



This seems to panic her a bit

You want me to call you now?
Do you understand the risk we stand if our call is traced?
Do you understand the complications?Why cant you just go outside your city am sure there are alot of western union out there
I am really loosing my patientAnd this is your first word and promise to me that you will get the money sent to me
Whats happening now
I feel you are letting me down some how.

Do we have to let people like Rui detect our future for us
Its me and you against the world babe.

Here is a new picture of rose for you.
I hope it cheers you up babe

Time is running out.
Please tell me your plans

And here she is…..


Yes, call me! I need to hear your love before i go crazy???? I have an unlocked phone which is not traceable, there is no worry! Buy a cheap Cell and all is good. DO YOU TRUST ME?????

Do not loose your patients, I am doing all I can! And now god has gone I will do much more things!!! Not just goats! Always be faithful to you though.

I have traced the family of Rui and will seek revenge on them. Nothing stops us now!!!! YOU AND ME AGAINST THE WORLD!!

I am too unstable to go out now, and it is 4am here, but I will be out first thing…ring me to wake! TIME IS IMPORTANT

Tomorrow I make you the happiest woman on the planet

The Happiest Man on the Planet


Shes straight back, and shes angry at my lack of attention…..

So what do you intend to do babe?
You didnt say anything about the picture!!
I guess you didnt like it?WHATS YOUR PLAN NOW?


Sneakily, I pretend I hadn’t neglected her prettiness

ps I love the rose. I will be wearing one for you when we meet!!!Or maybe a full bush!!!!


Now things get REALLY weird. My phone rings. It has a prefix of +60…Malaysia calling! I answer:

me: Hello?

Very crackly female voice: Hello! Hello!

Oh bloody hell. Teri…she seems to exist…

me: hello Teri!

*phone line goes dead*

Oh my. I’ve just spoke to Teri….

Then *ping* something drops into my inbox



Then, a text:

Its me Teri your babie

then another…

Am still trying 2kal u babe. its nt going through the network is terrible.

and another! Shes obviously not on Pay As You Talk….

i HATE  this country. Its nt going tru


babe i hv been dialing countinously. it keeps getting worse. cn we jst text

I’m too tired and a little freaked, so email back

I try and call you but with no luck! I hear your voice though when you call!

I must sleep now, send me a voice mail if you can….just say my name!

I will wake up tomorrow at 7 and sort this all out.

I love you

Do you love me?



I turn off my phone and laptop, and fall deeply asleep…………………


I wake late in the morning. A message!

Love is like a seed planted.
It grows gentlyYou really are a nice guy.and i hope we can get to know each other well.
I will try and relax a bit
I am really nervous about all this and confused.

If you will listen to my advice.
I will advice you to try outside your city and you will find a western union store.

You will have to tell them a diffrent story entirely
or a prove you definately know whom you are sending money to.

I will keep my fingers crossed and hope you dont let me down.




That is beautiful words

My seed needs to be planted where it can grow within you.

Anyhow Terry! I have news! The money is wired! Check your account? Are you on a plane yet?

I have laid my halls with rose petals and swan feathers.

Fly to me angel, fly to me!



This must be a jokeWhat account
Western union dont give account
They only give you a receipt with a western that has a 10 digit control number which will be used to pick the money

I am so devastaed right now


A joke??????? What can she mean???? I better give her the info she needs:

I have the number, its ten digits: 822453718, and you need to know the security question, which is



Get back to me when you get the cash, I am so ready for you?




Its 10 digits but here i see just Nine
Whats going on?


Oops, my bad


my fault, left out the seven (7)


This soothes her, and:

How much did you send babie
Please give me the know every information possible.
I cant wait to be with you


Or so I think….shes soon back, and angry

This is really a waste of my time
I just confirmed from western union that there is no money available from the number you just sent me.
I dont believe you are fooling me after all my trust in you.I am so hurt



And then….

I cant believe all this

Oh no!

I get back to her, pronto….

Why are you angry??? I have done what you asked, I have tried to make you happy, what more can a man do?? Check your account again. I could ring Rui in Delhi back but I think he would be angry as I said bad things to him in the night
Im terryfied


And thats where we’re at, at half seven pm, Tuesday night. Teri is hopefully on her plane now, and bringing her dollar-stuffed sofa. This will all conclude tomorrow, in the final part….if I haven’t scared her off by now.

If anyone has any ideas on how I can tie this up, send in ideas….I have one in mind, depending on her next move.

Thanks for reading. I best go and change my sheets.