The Beestonia LIVE! Election Blog…

Hello! I’ve stuck my vote in the box, despite getting lost on the way to the Polling station, a Portakabin by the side of the road. Two tellers. Lib Dem and and Labour, stood outside…no Tories though,  again a conspicuous absence by Soubry and her electrifying campaign… I’ll be updating when I get news, keep this up on your browser and refresh to hear the latest news/ how drunk I can get over eight hours. So Im camped in front of the telly, day off tomorrow, and booze and chocolate to keep me through the night…tune in::

03.51: Broxtowe back on TV..Im going quiet here for a while.Anyone who needs to contact me, do so. I’ still awake,and watching telly, but now counts.

03.03: Heres some hope: hung parliament, new Labour leader, forced re-election. Palmer stands again, the 500 who voted over Palmer swing back, Soubry ousted. Thoughts?

02.57: Its gone. Though I did discover Watts has the samemiddle name for me. Well done Soubry. Now, lets make sure she works for us. The awful woman.

Nick, we lost a gem.

02.53: Dreading writing this for weeks…but Soubry is about to announce.Mole claims the Tories are in a triumphant huddle, about to get announced on BBC 1. I’m really sorry.

02.38: I’m not feeling too happy about David Watts right now: if he really wanted electoral reform, he should have known that a Lib/ Lab coalition would be forced to push electoral reform through, while the Conservatives wouldn’t even put it to referendum.


02.25: Lempik Opek loses his seat. Oh well, he got a cheeky girl to touch his bum, and he got to touch her front bum, so the weird face can’t be so sad…

02.18: Broxtowe count on the telly. Palmer milling around looking dejected. Aw man, no. No no no no.


02.12: Loughborough, where I’m sitting right now, have had a popular Labour MP displaced by the tories on a 5.5% swing. I feel winded.

02.07: Mole reports Soubry has taken Broxtowe with a majority of  shy of 250, and its gone to a recount. Watch this space. I’m turning blue here,and not in a Tory way.


02.02: May I draw your interest to the comments thatare below this thread? Some interesting stuff being sent to Beestonia, keep them coming, and check them out if you haven’t already. Give me a chance to see if Ben Bradshaw gets in again, and find a bloody corkscrew.

01.59: My old Sociology teacher, Vernon Coaker, holds Gedling! Its a parallel seat to Broxtowe, so a ray of hope?

01.53: Seems like its more like 100 votes deciding it in Broxtowe. Mole is forecasting a recount. This could be a long night.

Derby South Mole soon to count, indicates its a LibDem/Tory close run race.

Seems that the failure of Polling Stations to get voters voting in time is going to be a dominant issue come sunrise. A Florida situation?

01.44: Text, albeit by proxy, from David Mitchell,asking what the Green’s vote was in 2005. I’ve just spent hours watching THE David Mitchell on telly, so it confused me somewhat. But no, its the very dapper, very youthful Green candidate.

01.35: Gordon Brown re-elected!!!With an increase in his vote!! Well, to his seat…still, I am still optimistic there wont be a clear Tory majority.

01.32: Mole rings to say that its actually neck and neck …intense scutiny by the observers on the count,suggesting the private pollings suggest a single vote cannot be taken for granted.

01.17: Mole at Pearson has now gone pessimistic, and is suggesting a Soubry 1,000 majority. I feel sick, but not enough to have cider # 4.

00.55: Part 2 of  What Our Candidates Would Do Should They Lose Tonight: The Challenger:

Anna Soubry would be walking away from failing to persuade two marginals not to vote Labour, so will Conservative Central cast her aside, and let her go back to her legal career? Or will theytake in account the fact that Soubry’s hero, Ken Clarke would be 75, and surely wanting to spend more time with his money family and theres a gaping safe seat hole waiting for a loyalist to slip in….

00.44: Mole at Derby North has reported a high number of BNP at the count there. One thing I have been thankful for in the Broxtowe Battle is the way the BNP  couldn’t be arsed to campaign outside small pockets of the constituency…Michael Shore still a no-show at the Pearson Centre.

00.26: Mole at Derby North (Labour , 4.7% majority) is seeing a collapse in the Labour vote, with a Tory/Lib Dem split. This is so close to what could have happened here, if  we didn’t have a strong MP -Derby North’s is retiring and replaced by a relative unknown. Can Broxtowe’s idiosyncrasy buck this trend?

00.20: France weighs in….oh, for more French people to come over here and vote:  00.17: Been too busy to get round to 3rd cider, only just cracked. Nearly sobered up. This election could save my liver.

00.01: BNP not showed up at the count, but four police constables have. My mole asked if there would be any trouble, to indifferent shrugs. Looking cautiously optimistic for Dr Palmer, with early signs showing a strong turn out of pro-Labour voters. Still, if Sunderland constituencies have a 5% swing, keep that Champagne corked.

23.55: Charlie Brooker just slagged off the East Midlands, particularly the area between Leicester and Nottingham, exactly where I’m sitting now. OI BROOKER!! I LOVE YOU BUT IF YOU COME UP HERE SLAGGING OFF THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE WITH THAT WEIRD COLLAPSED COIFFURE HAIR THEN I PERSONALLY WILL SCREEN YOU BURNING. That felt better.

23.45 Some great comments coming in, cheers, keep them coming. So what will the candidates do if they lose? Some predictions will be given over the next hour. We start with the incumbent: Palmer: I had some correspondence with Dr Nick  last year regarding his love of Norway’s social system, and he admitted should he be collecting his P45 in a few hours, would possibly retire there. I doubt it would be a  quiet retirement, how could one decelerate so? Creating video games, an expert at Bridge, a military strategist (albeit on a hypothetical level) …Palmer is a polymath who won’t be in TK Maxx checking slipper prices tomorrow…

23.26: Second can of cider gone. Blimey.

23.20: Mole at the Broxtowe count rings: Palmer prowling the count with a mildly worried look, Soubry not arrived and apparently taking a break at Beeston Conservative Club, Watts arrived and was told by an aide ‘Nationally, we’re stuffed’. Not good for the Lib Dems, and local exit polls suggest that while the Lib Dem share will increase by around 10%, this was always a two horse race. Cameras are in the hall, so expect the result to be televised, around 3am. _______________________________

22.49: Two pints down, one can of cider, all before Sunderland South is called. I’m finding Jimmy Carr funny. Must drink more…

22.31: The polls are in and the first exit polls are in: Lib Dems suffering badly, Tories looking like they might scrape a  majority. Apparently, the betting exchanges are shifting dramatically to the right, as insider-information changes the market…bad news to start with… Still,cracking telly on Channel 4…   

63 thoughts on “The Beestonia LIVE! Election Blog…

  1. Bee says:

    We are flicking between BBC and C4, and sticking with red wine (saving the cider for later when things get serious). Jeremy Vine’s preposterous graphics on BBC are already pissing me off.

    I just read that Dave Cam’s favourite biscuit is the oatcake…….

  2. The Mole says:

    From the Count:

    The postal votes showed a 3 way split with a marginal majority for the Conservatives.

    However they are 2 weeks old.

    The other votes are now being verified and a quick analysis of 3 areas shows:

    Beeston West a massive Labour majority. (Walked it!)

    Stapleford marginal Labour majority with the Lib Dem vote collapsing.

    And the surprise – Mornington Crescent area Nuthall Labour on about 55% Con 35% and Lib Dem 10%. This is tradition Conservative ground.

    The above samples are very small and subject to change as bigger samples become apparant.

    I’ll keep you posted.

  3. Kate Ames says:

    No inside information on what it’s like at the Pearson Centre? Oh to be a fly on their wall …

  4. Kate says:

    ps Husband did about four hour on teller duty at the RC church Foster Ave today. No Tory teller there either. Unbelievable. They may have the Ashcroft millions but perhaps local activists are thin on the ground. Can but hope that’s a good omen.

  5. Bee says:

    The Evening Post have got their journalists blogging from the counts on the This Is Nottingham website. At 11.10pm their woman at the Broxtowe count posted;
    “Labour candidate Nick Palmer admits Tories looked strong in the postal votes, they are ‘edging it at the moment’. Early days”

  6. Jacqui says:

    There were 2 Conservative tellers in the Rylands and one Labour one, which is bizarre as I’ve not seen a single Conservative poster in the Rylands.

    • TheRylander says:

      When I went at about 7:30ish, there weren’t any torys and one labour bloke.

      • Jacqui says:

        Ah…obviously the Conservatives gave up then. I was there about 8.30am

  7. Sam says:

    Did you see the Pearson Centre in the middle of the screen behind Dimbleby’s head as the BBc coverage started? 3.5 hours to go…

  8. The Mole says:

    Some more:

    Giltbrook – a big Tory majority; as expected

    Bramcote – too close to call but the Lib Dem vote collapsed.

    Toton (trees issue) on a large sample it’s a significant Labour lead. 60% Lab, 35% Con, 5% libe Dem.

    Moles unite!

  9. Sam says:

    Great news about Beeston West (but not surprised, our little corner seemed to be holding a competition to see who could have the biggest red posters and most balloons today!)

  10. The Mole says:

    Beeston North (Carwood Ave) 36% Labour, 16% Tory and 26% Lib Dem.

    Anna Soubry now in the hall, not looking her usual bright and breezy self. Dave Mitchell just arrived and two BNP members booked to come but I’m not sure if they’re here yet. Nick Palmer – indiferent. David Watts concerned about the kids waking him up after zero sleep.

    It’s clearly going to be a nail-biter, but no chance for the Lib Dems (admitted privately by all present)

  11. The Mole says:

    Nick Palmer now attracting much media attention see His prediction is for a Tory victory with a margin of 1500.

    I am suprised looking at the ballot papers but he has a Doctorate of Mathematics.

    Soubry looking glum and not commenting (no change there).

  12. Becky says:

    My election comrades have fallen asleep! Watching old Shameless during the lull. Everythings crossed, where’s a good place to seek political asylum? (Just incase!)

  13. Delia Monk from NEP is reporting high turnout of 73.4% (and 86.4% for postal votes). Well done to Beestonians and their near neighbours!

  14. The Mole says:

    Nick and Anna now having a cosy chat. Looking better for Anna.

  15. Jobcentre plus says:

    Will she employ ex-MPs?

  16. Sam says:

    NEP reporting 1000 majority for Soubry 😦

  17. The Mole says:

    Soubry thinks she’s won and done an interview on that basis. A Labour statician has estimated 100 majority for Palmer.

    I predict a recount.

  18. The Mole says:

    Anna thinks she’s won and done an interview on that basis.

    A Labour statician has estimated 100 majority for Palmer.

    I predict a recount.

  19. Sam says:

    NEP now syaing 100 majority for Nick Palmer. At least all of this excitement is keeping me awake.

  20. The Mole says:


  21. Kate says:


  22. Sam says:

    Do recounts ever result in different numbers (forlorn hope)?

  23. anon says:

    No, I’m here at the count, its all over. Palmer taking defeat v graciously.

    If its soubry God help us all

  24. TheRylander says:

    Damnit 😦 That’s me off to bed then, got to get up for work at 8. Hope I don’t have any blue nightmares.

  25. Gareth says:

    Report on BBC live from Broxtowe, with Nick Palmer lurking in the background – very exciting! Anyone got 250 Labour votes in their pocket?

  26. Sam says:

    My mum voted LibDem because she said my assertion that it was so close was just me being melodramatic. Blasted woman.

  27. The Mole says:

    sOUBRY 20,288

    pALMER 20542

    wATTS 8907


  28. The Mole says:

    Sorry ignore that

    Soubry 20,542

    Palmer 20,288

    Watts 8907

    Second (partial recount)

  29. Kate says:

    Let it be true!!!

  30. Kate says:

    oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  31. Sam says:

    Mole, what news of the “improper dealings” with postal votes that I am hearing about?

  32. anon says:

    Will the last person to leave broxtowe please turn off the lights

  33. Kate says:

    This sucks.

  34. Gareth says:

    Shucks! We’ve lost a very good, honest, hard-working MP. What were you thinking, people?!?

  35. Kat says:

    Well, fuck. Soubry’s in.

  36. Sam says:

    Independence for Beeston West!
    If she was a credible candidate I might feel better, but not only is she a Tory she is a particularly abhorent one.
    Now hanging out for a hung parliament and another election later in the year.

  37. Kate says:

    Amen to that, Sam. To lose an MP like Nick and get Anna *&^%^& Soubry is a very bitter pill.

  38. Andrew Parsons says:

    Swivel on my middle digit and go to bed!!! Get in Soubry.

  39. Sam says:

    Perhaps Andrew, we fear attitudes like that.
    Perhaps you don’t have children in Broxtowe.

  40. Kate says:

    Exactly Sam. What a lovely gracious attitude. Not.

    I don’t expect Anna Soubry is gracious in victory, but I am certain Nick is gracious in defeat. Which says it all.

  41. Andrew Parsons says:

    Nick may be gracious in defeat but it’s a shame that none of you lot are. Anna *&^%^& Soubry is but one example of the rubbish posted on this blog. I don’t care for either side but find it amusing that your offensive drivel has come out second best. No wonder Anna refused to waste her time on such a bunch of ill educated buffoons.

    • It’s very kind of you to “waste your time” coming on here then. Just like you may not agree with everything Palmer, Soubry, Watts, Cobb, Mitchell and (God help us) Shore have said, you don’t have to agree with Matt’s views, or those who post on here.

      I can only write from the standpoint that I have found Nick Palmer to be charming and helpful as both an MP and candidate, even when we disagree. David Mitchell was also friendly and interesting. Anna Soubry however, looked at me as if I was something she found on her shoe, hurriedly shaking the hand I offered before going off to talk to some other people who had been assuredly cheering everything she said and (rather rudely I thought) heckling Nick Palmer. I cannot speak for the other candidates as I haven’t had a chance to interact with them. For the record, I am a floating voter and it took some time for me to decide where to place my X.

      It is also good of you to draw the conclusion that Matt and the other contributors to this blog are “ill-educated”. I had better go and revise my CV…

  42. Sam says:

    Buffoon quite possibly … ill-educated, well, my secondary education, undergraduate degree and Masters were done under the Tories, but my PGCE, PhD and current medical degree are/were under Labour so not sure what conclusions can be drawn from that.
    Seriously, though, it is not ill-educated to recognise a decent Labour MP who was willing to challenge his political masters and work for his constituency; and to bemoan his replacement by a woman who refused to engage with her potential electorate, and who represents the worst of what we had to grow up under.
    It is not ill-education, it is genuine fear for what is to come.

  43. Kate says:

    You’re right, it was ungracious to be rude about Anna Soubry and I apologise.

    As for Anna refusing to waste her time here, she will now need to realise fast that she is here to represent ALL her constituents. She passed up an opportunity here which Nick would have jumped at, no matter the political persuasion of the posters. He would never have refused to engage with anyone just because they were unlikely to vote for him, and that’s just one reason that he was held in such high esteem in Broxtowe.

    Signing off.

  44. Commiserations, Beestonia – a very close-run thing. No surprises here in Rushcliffe, of course – a tiny shift from Con to LD but barely significant.

    Nationally, it’s all still up in the air…

  45. Brian Rowe says:

    Speaking of ‘ill-educated buffoons’ Anna sent me an e-mail yesterday littered with spelling and punctuation errors and ranting about Labour activists inundating Tory candidates with e-mails in ‘most marginals’. Does anyone get why she actually wants to be an MP? Here’s hoping for a hung parliament, giving her time to mess up, followed by another election later in the year. I can accept losing to a Tory candidate (I even voted for one when I lived in Kent; a hard-working, efficient constituency MP, coincidentally). It’s hard to accept losing to a candidate who has ‘fought’ such a negative and indifferent campaign. Doubt we’ll see much of her in Beeston.

    • Terry Tickles says:

      Lets all say a big thanks to the Lib Dems for handing over Broxtowe to the Tories.


      Never mind……….I am sure Soubry will be a good MP but not like Palmer who was a fantastic MP.


      • Alice says:

        What a shame Labour weren’t able to get votes on their own record, rather than relying on the tactical vote. Who did the BNP take votes off of I wonder. It looks like Labour only have themselves to blame for their defeat.

  46. Foggy Moggy says:

    So now Anna is an MP and can employ people will she answer all the concerned emails she’s now bound to get?

  47. Terry Tickles says:

    This isall I can say to the Lib-Dummies:-p

    You can’t change what you’ve done, so you might as well just take pride in it.

    • TheRylander says:

      It’s unfair to blame the Lib Dems. At least they had a totally credible candidate. You don’t know what the 8000ish people that voted for them would have voted for labour. Perhaps the Lib Dems took votes that would have gone to the Torys or even the BNP.

      People you could blame are the 1000 odd who vote for BNP; the people who voted Tory tactically to get Labour out; the people who voted Tory without even vetting the candidate they put up; the Labour MPs caught in the expenses scandal; the people who created the current voting system, tactical voting…etc etc

      BTW I did vote tactically for Nick, but I would have been happy to see either Nick or David win the seat.

      • Terry Tickles says:

        It was the dishonesty of the Lib Dems that irks me.

        Claiming that they were on the cusp of victory in the full knowledge that they were just holding up their vote.

        If they had been honest and admitted that they were doing well then that would have been a message to vote against the Tories.

        Admittedly there are some Lib Dems who would pick a Tory as an alternative. (some of the local councillors fit that model). BUT not my mate Ken

        The rise of the BNP is the fault of all major partys for not dealing with racism properly, by challenging it at its root cause. That I can say is partially fault of Labour.

        Still I give this parliament 6 to 12 months.

        Lab & Libs will thrash out a reform of the electoral sysytem and then go the polls next May at the latest.

  48. Peter Kobryn says:

    well done Matt on a fantastic blog as ever

    We are so disappointed that we have lost such a magnificent MP and all round good guy like Nick

    When you said 03.03: Heres some hope: hung parliament, new Labour leader, forced re-election. Palmer stands again, the 500 who voted over Palmer swing back, Soubry ousted. Thoughts?

    We were saying almost exactly the same thing – despite what the contributor above said the Lib Dems decision to aggressively promote the MYTH that they could win this seat when they knew this not to be the case has deprived us of this wonderful MP

    Nick and Labour did their bit by restricting the swing to the Tories to the smallest across the country

    By all means campaign on your policies and issues – but to lie just to try and push your share of the vote up to 20% ?


  49. Brian Rowe says:

    So where did people actually vote for Anna? Chilwell, I suppose! The pro-Soubry, Kerry et al letters to the Beeston Express usually originate from there.

    Beeston rules! Chilwell is our ‘Shelbyville’

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