Hello! I’ve stuck my vote in the box, despite getting lost on the way to the Polling station, a Portakabin by the side of the road. Two tellers. Lib Dem and and Labour, stood outside…no Tories though, again a conspicuous absence by Soubry and her electrifying campaign… I’ll be updating when I get news, keep this up on your browser and refresh to hear the latest news/ how drunk I can get over eight hours. So Im camped in front of the telly, day off tomorrow, and booze and chocolate to keep me through the night…tune in::
03.51: Broxtowe back on TV..Im going quiet here for a while.Anyone who needs to contact me, do so. I’ still awake,and watching telly, but now counts.
03.03: Heres some hope: hung parliament, new Labour leader, forced re-election. Palmer stands again, the 500 who voted over Palmer swing back, Soubry ousted. Thoughts?
02.57: Its gone. Though I did discover Watts has the samemiddle name for me. Well done Soubry. Now, lets make sure she works for us. The awful woman.
Nick, we lost a gem.
02.53: Dreading writing this for weeks…but Soubry is about to announce.Mole claims the Tories are in a triumphant huddle, about to get announced on BBC 1. I’m really sorry.
02.38: I’m not feeling too happy about David Watts right now: if he really wanted electoral reform, he should have known that a Lib/ Lab coalition would be forced to push electoral reform through, while the Conservatives wouldn’t even put it to referendum.
2.23: SECOND RECOUNT IN BROXTOWE.
02.25: Lempik Opek loses his seat. Oh well, he got a cheeky girl to touch his bum, and he got to touch her front bum, so the weird face can’t be so sad…
02.18: Broxtowe count on the telly. Palmer milling around looking dejected. Aw man, no. No no no no.
02.12: Loughborough, where I’m sitting right now, have had a popular Labour MP displaced by the tories on a 5.5% swing. I feel winded.
02.07: Mole reports Soubry has taken Broxtowe with a majority of shy of 250, and its gone to a recount. Watch this space. I’m turning blue here,and not in a Tory way.
02:06: BREAKING NEWS!!!
02.02: May I draw your interest to the comments thatare below this thread? Some interesting stuff being sent to Beestonia, keep them coming, and check them out if you haven’t already. Give me a chance to see if Ben Bradshaw gets in again, and find a bloody corkscrew.
01.59: My old Sociology teacher, Vernon Coaker, holds Gedling! Its a parallel seat to Broxtowe, so a ray of hope?
01.53: Seems like its more like 100 votes deciding it in Broxtowe. Mole is forecasting a recount. This could be a long night.
Derby South Mole soon to count, indicates its a LibDem/Tory close run race.
Seems that the failure of Polling Stations to get voters voting in time is going to be a dominant issue come sunrise. A Florida situation?
01.44: Text, albeit by proxy, from David Mitchell,asking what the Green’s vote was in 2005. I’ve just spent hours watching THE David Mitchell on telly, so it confused me somewhat. But no, its the very dapper, very youthful Green candidate.
01.35: Gordon Brown re-elected!!!With an increase in his vote!! Well, to his seat…still, I am still optimistic there wont be a clear Tory majority.
01.32: Mole rings to say that its actually neck and neck …intense scutiny by the observers on the count,suggesting the private pollings suggest a single vote cannot be taken for granted.
01.17: Mole at Pearson has now gone pessimistic, and is suggesting a Soubry 1,000 majority. I feel sick, but not enough to have cider # 4.
00.55: Part 2 of What Our Candidates Would Do Should They Lose Tonight: The Challenger:
Anna Soubry would be walking away from failing to persuade two marginals not to vote Labour, so will Conservative Central cast her aside, and let her go back to her legal career? Or will theytake in account the fact that Soubry’s hero, Ken Clarke would be 75, and surely wanting to spend more time with his money family and theres a gaping safe seat hole waiting for a loyalist to slip in….
00.44: Mole at Derby North has reported a high number of BNP at the count there. One thing I have been thankful for in the Broxtowe Battle is the way the BNP couldn’t be arsed to campaign outside small pockets of the constituency…Michael Shore still a no-show at the Pearson Centre.
00.26: Mole at Derby North (Labour , 4.7% majority) is seeing a collapse in the Labour vote, with a Tory/Lib Dem split. This is so close to what could have happened here, if we didn’t have a strong MP -Derby North’s is retiring and replaced by a relative unknown. Can Broxtowe’s idiosyncrasy buck this trend?
00.20: France weighs in….oh, for more French people to come over here and vote: 00.17: Been too busy to get round to 3rd cider, only just cracked. Nearly sobered up. This election could save my liver.
00.01: BNP not showed up at the count, but four police constables have. My mole asked if there would be any trouble, to indifferent shrugs. Looking cautiously optimistic for Dr Palmer, with early signs showing a strong turn out of pro-Labour voters. Still, if Sunderland constituencies have a 5% swing, keep that Champagne corked.
23.55: Charlie Brooker just slagged off the East Midlands, particularly the area between Leicester and Nottingham, exactly where I’m sitting now. OI BROOKER!! I LOVE YOU BUT IF YOU COME UP HERE SLAGGING OFF THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE WITH THAT WEIRD COLLAPSED COIFFURE HAIR THEN I PERSONALLY WILL SCREEN YOU BURNING. That felt better.
23.45 Some great comments coming in, cheers, keep them coming. So what will the candidates do if they lose? Some predictions will be given over the next hour. We start with the incumbent: Palmer: I had some correspondence with Dr Nick last year regarding his love of Norway’s social system, and he admitted should he be collecting his P45 in a few hours, would possibly retire there. I doubt it would be a quiet retirement, how could one decelerate so? Creating video games, an expert at Bridge, a military strategist (albeit on a hypothetical level) …Palmer is a polymath who won’t be in TK Maxx checking slipper prices tomorrow…
23.26: Second can of cider gone. Blimey.
23.20: Mole at the Broxtowe count rings: Palmer prowling the count with a mildly worried look, Soubry not arrived and apparently taking a break at Beeston Conservative Club, Watts arrived and was told by an aide ‘Nationally, we’re stuffed’. Not good for the Lib Dems, and local exit polls suggest that while the Lib Dem share will increase by around 10%, this was always a two horse race. Cameras are in the hall, so expect the result to be televised, around 3am. _______________________________
22.49: Two pints down, one can of cider, all before Sunderland South is called. I’m finding Jimmy Carr funny. Must drink more…
22.31: The polls are in and the first exit polls are in: Lib Dems suffering badly, Tories looking like they might scrape a majority. Apparently, the betting exchanges are shifting dramatically to the right, as insider-information changes the market…bad news to start with… Still,cracking telly on Channel 4…