Oh joy! After spending the entire weekend desperately trying to hoist Beestonia on the World Cup bandwagon with an article linking this fair suburb with the International Sportsball Trophy Tournament saturating everywhere right now, but to no avail. I’m just about to give up, flick idly through the BBC’s news site, and find this:
Read it right through, its quite amusing.
You may recognize Prof. P, from an earlier article I wrote, which is right here:
If you can find a better, or a more tenuous link, please tell me…
Its summer, and I’ve oiled up my bike and hit the further reaches of Beestonia. This leads me to stumble on some truly incongruous weirdness….all of these photos were taken in countryside surrounding Beestonia, less some pedant point out they are strictly outside the town walls. A prize of 17 pence to the first person who identifies the whereabouts of these pieces of odd:
NUMBER ONE. THE BIZARRE BUS-STOP.
Away from any road, and on an overgrown dirt track reachable only by foot or bike , is this. Its a bus stop, which will never see a bus or a queue of harassed looking commuters or stressed mums with unruly kids. It stands, looking over the buses, just waiting, for eternity.
And what/who can it commemorate?
NUMBER TWO:RED-DRAGON BRIDGE
Wrexham FC’s ground, the Racecourse Ground, is 88.8 miles from this bridge. Why someone has taken the trouble to travel all that way with a pot of lilac paint, deep into the South Nottinghamshire countryside, find a bridge that has long fell into disuse (its cobbles are now a carpet of densely mossed-grass and weeds), display their love for the Welsh club and then drive home baffles me. Perhaps that is the point.
Why Wrexham?its not even in the football league; Im hoping that somewhere in Wales there is a graffitied ILKESTON TOWN FC upon a remote slate wall.
NUMBER THREE: REMEMBERING BING
The ultimate posthumous accolade surely must be the bench plaque. A square of brass engraved with ‘LORD BEESTONIA, HE LOVED THIS PLACE’ is how I’d love to be remembered, much better than a dowdy piece of marble beneath a yew tree. However, much as I’m sure Mr Crosby moved around: he lived next door to David Bowie,according to the video to ‘Little Drummer Boy’, but I’m fairly sure he never went deep into the East Midlands, to sit on a bench overlooking the Trent and Ratcliffe Power Station to puff on his pipe.
Know some other Beestonia (and environ) oddness? Send them to me at email@example.com