Time for a divorce?/ BumNoseHoover/ Techno Techno Tesco

In a recent letter, Broxtowe’s most famous dole-queuer Dr Nick Palmer made some interesting points regarding the Coalition, and how he felt optimistic about it. I found myself nodding along, temporarily ignoring the (rather hackneyed) cries of CON-DEM NATION! LOLLL!! that rang out from the aggrieved critics of the blue and yellow government.

I found myself impressed with Cameron’s reaction to the Scott report, and even started  to have these guilty twinges that the union might be a good thing for the country and for politics in general. I feel embarrassed even admitting this, the same sort of dampening shame one feels when reading Take A Break; watching a Hollyoaks omnibus or spending a sunny afternoon inside browsing donkey-porn sites.

Now the honeymoon is well and truly over.  The budget is announced, and its the nastiest, snidest, hateful piece of work in a long time. Osbourne, Mr Bum-Nose himself, has decided to slash at the public sector, with the intention of sparing the private sector which he reckons will create growth. Except he forgets  the public sector is a massive buyer of private sector services, products and suchlike; and throw another million on to the dole means that there is one million un-taxable people, people who cant afford products and thus won’t be able to …hold on, I don’t do the intricacies of policy, plenty do. I’ll sum it up simply: Osborne hates you, you vile piece of dirt.  Now suffer, and remember,we’re all in this together.

What is horrible to see,though I confess to a certain Schadenfreude in watching, is the way the Lib Dems, always seen as the nice guys in parliament, now seem in cahoots with the devil. Watch how the once sage-like Vince Cable now has to big-up VAT increases with a face that betrays the horror behind his eyes.  Oh Vince! Save your soul, save yourself, get out, blow a fuse, admit you still have a scrap of integrity, do it Vince! Do it or let the world grow a further shell of cynicism and never believe anything anyone ever says, ever again.

Whats even more dreadful is that the tories have hired  Lynton Crosby recently. Who hell he? Hes the Australian pollster who has a track record of political strategy, managing Boris Johnson’s mayor campaign,  and they need him to do one job and one job only. They need him to make sure that when it comes to the referendum on electoral reform, the public give a resounding ‘no thank you’.

This must make the Lib Dems feel wonderful. The most valuable prize they have staked everything on is being taken away, right in front of their widening, tear-filled eyes.

Their was a honeymoon, but now its slipped into an abusive, uneven marriage, where one partner drags the other through the dirt, the other too terrified to leave and just hopes it’ll change. New politics? Nah, its as venal as ever.


I’m not a fan of snarky, substantiated rumours that the seethe and fester over all corners of  the internet. Thats why when I got told a story at a party a few years back regarding Bum-nose Osbourne, a story from the former partner of one of Osbourne’s university friends, I chose to never pass it on,despite being quite fascinating. Its not right to print allegations about rampant coke habits, especially if its just hearsay, and even if this prodigious powder-love led to some truly misanthropic acts involving burning money in front of tramps to ‘incentivise’ them, well, I’m not going to put that up on my blog. Even if years later another individual relates you to a story with remarkable parallels to the rumour, well, thats just coincidence isn’t it? Plus, i’m sure Bum-nose wouldn’t do that sort of thing.

And if its true there is a quite staggeringly amusing video of such antics , well, we all did stuff in our youth that we might now be embarrassed by, and I hope any media outlet offered it will bear this in mind and let bygones be bygones.


Tesco is fast being put together, the flat-pack being assembled at lightning speeds. They’ve gone and put loads of boards round the site now, teasers promising us the delights that will lie in. Here Beeston! Have a toy department! And a cafe! And, oh, lucky lucky you, we’re throwing in a bakery. Its all written in that plain yet patronising style their TV ads are presented, knowing little puns that are designed to make you sigh ‘Oh Tesco, you silly thing’ and warm to them, forgetting the new store will be an ugly traffic magnet that will suck the life from the already struggling high street. Its a terrible inevitability, and for years any battle against it has been an impotent slog. I started a small campaign myself,far too late, and whenI put it on Facebook was swiftly be-friended by a stranger who had also joined hundreds of other anti-Tesco groups.  My suspicions aroused, I sent her an email asking why she had befriended me, and she swiftly disappeared, as she did when other group-creators challenged her. Cheers, Tesco.

When we are struggling in Broxtowe for affordable housing, and battle rages over what sacrifices will have to be made to the green-belt to accommodate this,a huge area of land is given over to a retail behemoth that cares not a shit for Beeston, even if a Jane Horrocks voice -over says it does.


Phew. Thats all a bit angry. I’ve had a long week, and despite being near midnight its 24c. I will write next time in an ice bath,and let the love flow.  And heres something that appeared on my Facebook page recently, that suggests that FB are either arch-satirists or idiots.

7 thoughts on “Time for a divorce?/ BumNoseHoover/ Techno Techno Tesco

  1. TheRylander says:

    Seeing Vince Cable on Question Time, hand up ar*e shouting “gottle o gear, gottle o gear” – I find very disappointing. Defending everything in the budget and then saying lib con-dem members can oppose tories on anything, e.g. Trident, is totally contridicting. Welcome to the darkside Darth Vince.

    I opposed Beeston Tescos going ahead as well. Beeston, Toton, Long Eaton…how many more are they going to build? I intend to keep using Hunts, Sainsburys, Beeston Bookshop, Grewals etc.

  2. the g-dog says:

    You seem to be a bit confused as to where the government gets money to pay for all those public sector non-jobs. You know it’s only by taxing people that actually earn money, right?

  3. Cllr Steve Barber says:

    Tesco and the need for affordable accommodation – fully agree. Sadly when I made this point in a written representation to the 2000 local plan I was a lone voice. The land was duly designated as retail land. Along come Tesco who announce that they are a retailer and want to open a retail store on the land designated by a democratic process as retail land.

    As you said protest was then too late.

  4. gailsman says:

    My understanding was that we weren’t getting a white box, as the councilors at BBC said that it had to be made from brick & glass. So why are we getting a white box then? Tesco’s slush money up for grabs again

  5. Becky says:

    Thinking of letting one of my copraphiliac residents loose in the toy department on opening day! Land banking, community raping bastards. Regarding poor vince he looks like he’s having a battery acid colonic! At least they scrapped the cider tax to keep us all comatose, it also saves money by skipping addiction and going straight to multiple organ failure:)

  6. Cllr Steve Barber says:

    We are not getting a white box. The cladding (brick glass and timber) is now going on.

    I write regular updates on this and other things which I send to Rylands residents. If you want these send me an email; steve_barber@ntlworld.com

  7. Nick Palmer says:

    To avoid confusion – in essence I said I liked some of the style of the Coalition but not the content!

    To respond to g-dog – one of my criticisms of the Coalition is that it’s setting up an artificial class war between public and private sector workers, when in reality each depends on the other and as contracts are awarded and people move around it will often be the same people at different times. Nobody’s saying that every public sector job is value for money, any more than every private sector job is (hello, Mr Capello), so there’s always scope for review, but the Coalition’s starting point seems to be that the public sector is bloated and inefficient by definition, which anyone in touch with Social Services or Probation, for instance, will tell you that’s far from the case.

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