Soubry In the ‘Hood?/ Beestonia, the new Rio?/ Beestonia Invaded!/ Ow.

First, lets kick off with some Soubry news.

Our erstwhile representative looks like she is moving to the locale, namely Bramcote village. I wont say exactly where, but her local pub will be the divine White Lion, or as its known to those who imbibe there, The Top House.  Somehow, I just can’t imagine her knocking back the Kimberley Classic in the back bar while feeding the fruit machine handfulls of shrapnel.

If true, this does prove she is keeping her promise to move into the Broxtowe constituency, and for that I tip my hat. Other pledges, however, look less solid.

Its been noted by people I talk to and in the letters page of local papers that Anna is appearing to be more of a Westminster than constituency MP. During the campaign, she trotted out the cliched line ‘I’ll be Broxtowe’s voice in Westminster, not Westminster’s voice in Broxtowe’, which always seemed a little weak considering Doctor Nick was very much Broxtowe-Centric. Her newsletters do seem less constituency focused than Nicks, but its hard to tell right now. In six months, if the coalition is still somehow holding together, it will be worth examining again. On  a more Beestonian level, she isn’t (as yet) holding surgeries here, instead choosing the   of Nuthall and Stabbo. A comment she also made regarding the tram route also worried me, as her objection seemed to be based on the plan running close to her voters, not her constituents (a massively key semantic difference) home.  If this is a case of only representing those she expects to elect her, then this is anti-democratic, and thus will be diligently monitored.

Also, a Beestonian noticed that Caroline Flint has posted this, on :

It is a delight to follow Anna Soubry. I feel that it might not be too long before she is elevated to the Front Bench. In addressing the debate, she demonstrated what she brings from her experience, as well as her thoughtfulness.

Ah, Caroline Flint, the rather useless former cabinet member who cried sexism when overlooked for a plum job in a Brown reshuffle.  I can see the parallels…


Bizarre scenes down by the weir, where the river level has dropped to such an extent its possible to wade to Clifton, if you were a fan of ugly towns. This has also meant Cliftonites have been invading Beestonia, gangs of youths clashing with each other for no discernible reason other than they are twats. I did try and warn you however,  in this piece I wrote last year: .

Nostradamus, me.


Oh, we have aliens invading too.


CARNIVAL!!!! Yes, tomorrow Beeston celebrates the fact that its ace by having a big party from12 am onwards featuring, errr, stuff. Possibly Waltzers and Hook-A-Duck. I will be there, for the first time in years (I missed the last two, once for being at a ladyfriends outside Beeston, the other for being too hungover to crawl out my room: this year I am unencumbered by either girlfriends or wine addiction so will be there, possibly dropping fried onions down my top as I try and stuff a greasy burger in my capacious gob. Rather snazzy website can be found here:


And so to a ‘friend’ I met today in Nottingham, who I haven’t seen in years. We were chatting politics, and he says ‘I read that Beestonia website during the election’. Chuffed, I expect him to say something flattering about by writing skills, but no, he appears to genuinely not realise its me who writes this. I await the flattery, and it comes ‘Yeah, it made me laugh’ he says,and I bask, but only until ‘though the bloke who writes it seems a bit of a cock’.


And if you still read it, Chris, you so owe me a pint when I start drinking again. Cock.