Bing Bonkers; Move Over Beeman…

Lots of interesting stuff going on in the sweet land of Beestonia, but this will be but a small post, as

  • I fell in a bramble hedge/ nettle patch at the weekend and my hands are so covered in little cuts and scratches its agony.
  • Its too hot, so Im dressed in the bare minimum of apparel, and one must retain some decorum when writing, so must be properly shirted. This doesn’t apply to Sophie Dahl.
  • The really juicy stuff might be popping up Thursday, but I’m going to be all cruel and keep mum till then.  Watch the skies.

So a bit of Beeston Weird.

A while back, I reported on how there is a bizarre plaque-based tribute to Bing Crosby in the wild fields beyond Attenborough Nature Reserve. I went back to the same fields on sunday to pick blackberries and root up wild horseradish with my duped housemate who still thinks we just never found the pub we were going to. Here he is, looking really impressed hes been cuckolded into increasing my fruit-gathering operation ten fold with his extra-reach arms:

I took him to the plaque, as it is tacked to a bench with a staggering vista of the Trent and its valley before it, and then I noticed it. Take another look. Can you spot whats weird about it, apart from the fundamental oddness of it being there in the first place?

As Crosby fans,  as all Beestonians are, I bet you spotted it earlier. If not, shame.

The second single I ever bought was Crosby, and his duet with Bowie, (the accolade for first goes to Orville’s eponymous ‘Song’, a song still wreathed in so much pathos, angst and the sound of crushed dreams  tempered with love). I remember hearing that Crosby died soon after this duet, possibly at shock that Bowie lived next door -well, he did in the video.

So WHY ON EARTH are Bing’s dates given as 1939-95? WHY? He died in 1977, and was born in 1903.  What are these dates? If anyone knows, put me out my misery. Please.


Another strange anomaly in this bizarre corner of the far reaches of Beestonia is a cairn-like plinth that possibly once was home  to a sign hopefully explaining what the totally wrong plaque is there for.

I also hear that Anthony Gormley is  looking for a new project, after retiring the concept of using statues of his own body everywhere. If you’re reading this Ant, and I know you and Tracey Emin love a bit of Beestonia,  heres a little idea I have:

I’m thinking stainless steel, possibly gold plated.  Cheers, Gormles.