Tonight, I was meant to be back off to Nottingham’s Mechanic’s Institute to see my third Labour Leadership Contender: this week was Andy Burnham, the guilty looking scouse who isn’t Steven Gerrard. However, after losing a prominent tooth in a fight (with a piece of undercooked sweetcorn) at the weekend, I just can’t face being out in public without a cowl.
I’m sorry, Beestonians.
But fear not. Lord Beestonia does not leave you wanting. I got home, and started drafting an article of such staggering brilliance, such scope, drenched in heart-rendering and melancholic prose, laced with pathos, sprinkled with soul ….an article that would then sweep up into a crescendo, a perfect balance of adrenalin rush and inspiring uplift; intoxicating in its majesty; leaving you, dear dear leader, moaning with joy as the prose turns to poetry, your limbs turn to jelly, your eyes water as your heart pounds, then leaves you stunned, shocked and thoroughly sated by the artistry of my word-stylings, breathless and trembling in your chair.
Then I got distracted watching clips of squirrels negotiating assault courses on youtube, so thought ‘sod it, I’ll write a pop-quiz. That’ll do.’
So here it is.
Click the link below, and provided you have Spotify (and if you don’t, ARE YOU MAD???) . You’ll find twenty songs, of varying degrees of goodness. Some are brilliant (Bent, Edwin Starr) and some are unmitigated toss.
Your job is to listen to the playlist, study it, make notes. Have a dance, if you like. I did, like a chicken on a bonfire. Then, and only then, write a comment below that explains WHAT THIS TRACK / ARTIST HAS TO DO WITH BEESTON.
Once all twenty are answered correctly, then I shall post a video on here of myself wearing a tutu and thong, dancing to any track you choose.
Get to work, and prepare your ears (and eyes) for a feast. Rock on, Tommies!