I’ve hardly been able to take a breath before the next email/text/letterbomb hurtles at me demanding ‘THE ROYAL WEDDING. LINK THAT TO BEESTONIA, MR ‘ITS NOT A CRAP SUBURB ITS THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE’. GO ON TRY. LOTS OF LOVE, Mother.’ A challenge? I think not.
EDIT: I must point out that the above photo is NOT Fergie with Hazel Blears, its some Clown-Meat pushing idiot.
Easy peasy: First, lets look at the last big Royal Wedding, that of Sarah ‘Not in the Black-Eyed Peas Fergie’ Ferguson, and Duke Andrew of Yorkland. Its a little-known fact that Fergie is a Beestonian. No, honest.
Well, her mum was: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Barrantes You can actually visit her house, sort of. Go to Bramcote Park, and check out what used to be the Hall: the council recently put up a brick foot-print of the building, on a site that was previously used as a council tip. I once deafened a dog there when I blew up a fridge that sat on a fire we built, but I can’t disclose the full story till I exceed the statute of limitations.
Ah, spurious, Lord Beestonia, spurious! Well, I could mention Princess Diana’s 1993 visit to Beeston (when she was put off from shaking my outstretched hand when the punk-attired student next to me shouted ‘lovely to see you, Camilla’); or the fact we have several regal pubs: The Crown, The Victoria, The Queens, and The Commercial (named in honour of the aforementioned Fergie’s love of shilling her diminishing fame out to anyone who throws money at her). We also have a Middleton Crescent, but thats a weak link…
Whats this though? Theres an actual celebration in Beeston? And it has the best A-board advertising it I’ve ever seen? Well, that’ll have to do then:
Dunno why I even feel the need to write Regal Nuptial News; I’ll be spending the day on a Republican bike-ride, with emphasis on the ‘publican’ part, of which many I look forward to meeting en route. Have a good one, and Viva le Republic!