Soubz: Economical With The Actualite?

Oh the pressure. I didn’t mean to be a tease with the Soubry Update but so much stuff is happening right now: The Beestonian is doubling in size, I’ve been asked to contribute to a documentary, I have Wilkos news to relate and, oh yes, I have a full-time job now…well, my back-burner seems to have swelled to the size of Nicki Minaj’s arse.

Yet it becomes an issue that one must clear one’s inbox when one’s (I’m dropping this ‘ones’ business now. I grew up in Stabbo, I live in Beeston. It’s simply not right) ; when my own mother (Mail-reading; arriveste Middle-Class) asked me ‘When’s that Souby thing coming out then.

So lets not delay it further. It’s not just one story but a few. It’s long overdue, and for that I apologise. Whenever I get an idea of a Soubz story, she goes and does something else awful. So here’s the latest. I’m sure I’ll have another hoard before long.


The scoop I have might seem minor, until you view the context. In April 2010,as the hustings were in full swing Soubry spotted an Achilles Heel to attack incumbent Nick Palmer on. Nick had, for personal reasons, recently moved from Attenborough to Mapperley, thus out the constituency. Despite the fact she also lived in Mapperley, Anna leapt on this with a cynical line that Dr P could not represent Broxtowe fairly if he lived outside the Borough.

This is a spurious point. Nick was parachuted into Broxtowe in 1997 with little personal link to the place, but overcame local worries by moving here and engaging himself in the area, By the time I became involved in local issues, Nick was fluent in every town, every estate, every street in Broxtowe. When he moved out it mattered little: he knew the area well, was always willing to be there, but chose to sleep in Maperley (or more likely Westminster, since that’s their workplace).

Actually, I’m not sure if Nick does sleep. I, and many others, have recollections of Dr Palmer responding to nocturnal emails we sent to him angrily demanding he supported our take on an issue. Seldom agreeing we were correct, always responding in the early hours fluently, comprehensively and accountably. Thus makes a good MP, irrespective of ideology.

Soubs nevertheless saw the popularism of Palmer’s non-Broxtoweness and used it. I was intrigued, as I knew that she had a quite lovely house in Mapperley, replete with indoor swimming pool, vast garden and suchlike.

And yes, she did seem to want to come here. A friend in Bramcote rang me in June 2010 to report she had viewed a property there near to his, a spacious, gorgeous place just off Town Street. She didn’t take it, however, possibly due to the lack of a heated pool. Surely the short stroll to Bramcote Municipal Baths would suffice? Apparently not.

So Soubs stayed put, until a few letters to the Nottingham Post and the Beeston Express, no to mention the humble environs of Beestonia began to question her commitment to this major pre-election promise.

A constituent, who I will not name but resolutely stand by as they wish to remain anonymous, recently sent Anna a correspondence; one of may; asking if she still intended to keep her promise to move to the Borough she represented. After many letters disappearing into the void of the Soubry Black Hole (more of which later) eventually a reply was sent on House of Commons writing paper.

The missive promised that Broxtowe’s Honourable Member had put her house on the market for several months and once she found a suitable buyer and place to move to she would become a proper member, as promise, of Broxtonia. She wants to be here, but the market is saying no. Or is it?

I know, for my sins, a few estate agents, so I asked them if they could confirm if Anna had stuck her property on the market. How do I know where she lives? Well, I have contacts who know for sure but wish to be kept anonymous, but I’m willing to shoulder any Nadine Dorries style stalker crapness if she decides to accuse me of some private infringement. I know where Nick used to live, and from that one can infer.

She hasn’t, as far as my research lets me see, decided to flog her home to take a lovely terrace in Inham Nook. My contacts in estate agencies have conducted searches to find out but to no avail.

So has Anna been dishonest in a letter to a constituent? If so, this could have serious repercussions. The MP code is to be honest towards those you represent. Why would Anna jeopardise herself so obviously?

Maybe Anna and Honesty have never spent enough time together to make friends. Let’s examine a few more cases our honourable member has been less than representative….


This was a Soubs classic, and well documented so I’ll just briefly brush over it. Anna stated that postal workers were generally pro-privatisation, as she had somehow missed the massive wodge of letters from posties saying no to being sold off with some spectacular blindness. The result: a hilarious photo of her grimacing as she received a giant, anti sell-off postcard at her office, followed by massive anti-Soubs rally, the largest march in Beeston for 140 years, to highlight the fact she had talked a whole load of bollocks to Parliament.


Anna still persists in the assumption that the Broxtonians are crying out for the sell-off of the NHS. She stated that Broxtowe GPs were dedicated to reform, and said so in her evidence -based, balanced way here: .As a Tory GP was elected to the County Council on Thursday, Anna can now chuck out anecdotal evidence of medical professionals backing the bill, despite the factual argument: whereby EVERY professional medical body opposes, or has deep reservations about the proposed legislation. Want anecdotes? Within 48 hours of the interview, 4 Broxtowe GPs emailed me to say they opposed the bill. Yeah, that left-wing, bitter cabal that are General Practitioners.

Again, it’s well documented but still worthy of a mention. Anna’s recent surgery at Beeston Library was cancelled when she got wind of a gentle protest on Foster Avenue against NHS privatisation. She described the protestors as ‘politically driven’, which gives a valuable insight into her psyche. Anyone who agrees with her: fine. Anyone who doesn’t: ideological, organised terrorists hell-bent on perverting constituent based democracy by challenging two years of lies, misrepresentation, and trampling over the people of Broxtowe to ensure a lengthy political career in post- Ken Clarke Rushcliffe.

We’re the ugly girl the Casanova dances with so he can snog the beauty. Bite that tongue Beestonians. We deserve better.

Part 2 will follow tomorrow.