Oops, this post seemed to have disappeared for reasons I can’t comprehend, so I’m putting it back up. I’m stupidly busy right now getting Oxjam ready, but will update here, and all over my Twitter page….
Cheers for the people who pointed out this post’s disappearance…
Hello, mi ducks and steady yourselves: Beestonia is about to metamorphose into something different. It’s for a week, and a week only, but I need you to stay with me. Not just that, I need you to read me, pass me on, and most of all, throw yourself behind a cause in a manner that I have for the last nine months. I need you to immerse yourself, smear yourself, roll round like a millionaire in money to the wonder that is OXJAM.
Yep, it’s my bit for charidee. I’m sticking all my cynicism, snarkiness and half-baked opinionative to the side for a week and replacing it with a smiley yellow face and, as you marvel at the sunny visage pushed into your face, rattle a tin below. And then give you an experience that you will want to pay ten times the paltry £5 we’re asking.
What do you get for that 500 pennies, that tiny amount of cash that would not get you two pints, a pack of fags or a two year subscription to The Beeston Express? You get around 50 acts over a dozen stages; music of all genres, comedy, spoken word and surprises en route that I’d tell you about on the grounds I’d be allowed to kill you afterwards: sadly the law, and the fact that shrouds have no pockets, I can’t.
I will be putting up the full programme tomorrow: we’re still tinkering with it; and if you’re unfamiliar with the acts I’ll be giving you links to their wonderfulness: this is no cobbled together, turn-up-and-play festival: we have on board the most up and coming acts in Notts; with a bevy of established crowd pleasers and, to my immense satisfaction, a couple of utter local legends who we’ve coaxed out of retirement to come and flash their glory. It’s not just going to be good. It’s going to be essential, it’s going to be unmissable, it’s going to be just five pounds. Five pounds. 1/45th of the price of a Glastonbury ticket, and we guarantee you won’t get trench-foot/ and or be harassed on an hourly basis by a passive aggressive hippy telling you you’re a sell out cos you won’t buy his wonkily knitted llama wool astrological chart.
BUT WHERE, LORD BEESTONIA, CAN WE FIND THESE GLORIOUS TICKETS???
Simple. Go to the Bean, The Guitar Spot, The Crown, The Cricketers or find me in Beeston and thrown factors of five pounds into my hand and demand a ticket/tickets. Don’t wait till next Saturday. Get ’em now.
If you want to know more about Oxjam, and what it’s point is, click here: http://www.oxfam.org.uk/Oxjam/WhatIs/History . To visit our official site, click here (we’ll be updating daily up to Saturday). And if you run a newsletter, blog, have a Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr account, or any other way to get this out to the world beyond my meagre means, I implore you: do.