Soubz vs Auntie / Freecycle: it’s ace / PARTY!

It’s Windsor Brown-Nose corner! Our beloved representative, Ms Soubz, is LIVID at the BBC. Why? Because an irreverent satirical comedy show made an irreverent satirical joke. Yep, the target of Anna’s ire was Jo Brand, who read a joke off an autocue on Have I Got News For You last week. The joke itself was actually pretty low-par, and concerned Prince Harry’s (alleged) use of cocaine:

“(prince) George’s godparents include Hugh van Cutsem – I presume that’s a nickname, as in Hugh van cuts ’em and Harry then snorts ’em.”

Anna was livid, and issued a furious statement:

“Jo Brand should not have stooped to that level and both she and the BBC should apologise … It is a really cheap shot at somebody who has no right of reply and they know will not sue for libel.”

Well, first off, Jo Brand shouldn’t apologise, as she didn’t write the joke. But even if she had penned it, she still shouldn’t apologise. Have I Got News For You, and it’s unofficial paper form, Private Eye, use satirical exaggeration to take the piss out of the bumptious, the powerful, the Royals: Andrew Neil doesn’t actually have a Brillo pad stuck to his head. David Cameron isn’t really the headmaster of an academy. Tony Blair isn’t actually an ordained minister. It’s quite an easy concept to grasp.


“George Cruickshank should not have stooped to that level and both he and Punch magazine should apologise … It is a really cheap shot at the Prince Regent who has no right of reply and they know will not sue for libel.” – Anna Soubry, The Daily Telegraph, 1812.

Prince Harry has a history of self-confessed drug use – not coke, but a bit of weed- and is seen as a party-prince, sipping £10,000 cocktails at Mahiki and getting his russet pubes out for the camera while ‘chugging’ ‘kegs’ in Las Vegas. So the joke has a logical progression. Can you see how it works now Anna?

Presumably, Anna made this bonkers intervention as she is, in a roundabout way, Prince Harry’s boss. Now she’s installed at the M.O.D., it’s her camp. The wellbeing of the armed forces didn’t concern that much when she voted for intervention in Syria, but no matter.

Maybe there is more to this. Anna will most likely be needing a job come May 2015. Her rise up the ministerial ranks is an attempt at becoming indispensable and guarantee Central Office throw buckets at money at Broxtowe. But it’s worth having an insurance plan. A bit of royal brown-nosing never hurts if one wishes to eventually don the ermine. It’s rare to ‘get sent up’ to the Lords after one term. but not impossible, and a bit of puddle-covering never hurt.

Or maybe there is something more sinister. it’s no secret that the Tories HATE the BBC. As it’s an example of a public, centralised pluralistic corporation that is hugely popular amongst the public, it flies in the face of all they stand for with their desire to market everything. See also: The NHS. So license freezes, threats to close and sniping such as Anna’s intervention are standard practice.

This was quelled a tad by the hacking scandal. Anna’s former boss at Health, Jeremy Hunt, was seen as so keen on killing the Beeb and giving Murdoch huge, anti-plural control of SKY it all gor a bit uncomfortable. After all, Cameron’s right-hand Coulson was deeply implicated in the whole mess, as was Rebecca and Charlie Brookes, Chipping Norton besties and horse-lenders to the Camerons.

Monday saw the start of the hacking trial, with Coulson, Brookes (R), Brookes (C) and others up before the beak. How to draw attention from it? Attack the Beeb! Cause a distraction! So internet conman / Conservative Chairman Grant ‘Michael Green’ Shapps launched an attack threatening license fee cuts, Soubry blusters to The Telegraph. Coincidence?

Of course, it she doesn’t get the free-pass to the red benches, she’s got her face back on the telly quite frequently of late. SKY News might be looking for a new right-wing news fumbler once Adam Boulton’s swelling arrogance finally swallows him up. Soubz could find herself back on TV, and not just banging on about soap operas…


I picked up a dehumidifier off Freecycle the other day. If you’re not on Beeston Freecycle, get on it. It’s ace, and I really should have given it a mention years ago.I’ve had all sorts of stuff off it: two televisions, a washing machine and now something to dry out my rather damp house. It’s also good to meet the people you give/take from: a reader of this blog who wasn’t my mum or Soubz legal team gifted me the dehumidifer, called Sydney, apparently, so we had a good chat -he also finds emails to Soubz that don’t match Tory policy disappear into the ether. Anyhow, cheers Murray! Find out more here.


Big Halloween party at The White Lion tomorrow night from 7pm. Fancy dress isn’t compulsory, but Sergio will be dishing out a great prize (booze) to the best-attired. We’ll be toasting Oxjam volunteers, and they’ll be live music, so get down, even if you missed Oxjam or just bought a ticket / threw a coin in our collection tins.