Today was meant to be a day off. A guest post on here to spare me writing anything, a day doing little before going off to the I Love Beeston Awards this evening in my capacity as a judge. A lie down in the garden, perhaps. A bit more research
Yeah, might, y’know, not accept this one…
into tadpoles, maybe. But no. Daftly, just before I went to bed, I checked my email.
First surprise is BBC Radio 4 heavy news programme The World Tonight, who get in touch regarding a venue for a forthcoming election special they’ll be hosting from Beeston. We are the World, it seems.
Then I noticed that something I had written on a whim about the Justice For Men and Boys party had caused a bit of a stir with their leader, Mike Buchanan. He sent through a comment (see last article) deeming me, in an unimprovable Alan Partridge choice of words ‘A blithering idiot’.
Over on his website, he wrote an angry post about Beestonia, tellingly assuming I was female. One of his followers backed 
him up on this, now labelling the writing here as the work of ‘a precocious schoolgirl’. Well, unlike some Tory activists I’m not one to go online pretending to be a 13 year old girl. And I have man parts in my pants. I imagine Buchanan and his rabid horde of misogynistic mules must think I’m a traitor to the male gender, a man who, well, quite likes women, and holds the radically absurd view that women are people too.
Someone who really loves to blur the gender lines – ‘Womens’ clothes? They’re not womens’ clothes, they’re MY clothes, I paid for them’ – is Eddie Izzard, multiple marathon man; polyglot comedian and, perhaps, Mayor of London one day. As I finally decided to go to bed, an email pops up telling me that Izzard would be in Beeston later that day (it was well past midnight by then). Blimey. Election madness in full force: celebrities descending on our town isn’t a common thing (oh wait, it is actually) .
So, at midday I’m in the rather strange position of standing next to comic legend Eddie Izzard; who’s also bought along Tom
Foxy, the Hallams, and some wannabe strawberry sellers.
Watson MP: the guy who faced down Murdoch in the phone-hacking scandal, and as such a bit of a hero of mine: Murdoch bears deep grudges, and is nastily attacking Labour, the SNP and Miliband relentlessly through his scummy newspapers for daring question his control over the British news agenda. Somehow, we’re talking about strawberries. Loads of telly cameras jostle along the High Road as the pair, here to support Nick Palmer, visit Chimera, Hallams, Iguazu and other shops, as well as chatting to random passers-by (one lady hugs Izzard ‘You’re my first famous person’ she cries. Another says ‘I’m much more excited to meet Tom Watson’, to which Izzard pulls a mock-petulant pout).
Elbi at The Bean with Mr I.
They then head to The Bean, where the star struck staff come out for a picture (‘anything to get that bloody Soubry out’ one tells me), and then we get to do a quick interview. I explain to Tom Watson that I’m not in anyway incorporated to Murdoch through my publishing ‘Ah good. They don’t seem to want to talk to me anymore’, and Izzard is quite charming, commenting on the Gallic nature of my t-shirt ‘Good and French’. I’ll upload the audio when I get a minute. 
We were Izzard’s 50th stop off this election (And Tom Watson is somewhere in the seventies). Quite an incredible work-rate, but he is passionate to see Labour win ‘It’s just a question of 
fairness. I’ve done well for myself in life, but I struggled when younger, and that never leaves you. I want to do what I can with what I’ve got to help others. And that’s what Labour does’. He was delighted by the turn out of activists ‘This is what we do best. We have the people. The Conservatives just have the money’. He repeated his intention to stand for election, either as MP or as London Mayor, in a few years time. Insert your own ‘London doesn’t need another comedian’ joke here…
This was no show-up, smile at the cameras then head off thing either. He really talked to people. When he stopped to chat to a guy ambling by called Rob (a self-confessed, recovering Lib Dem voter in 2010) he waved off the Labour Party staff trying to move him on and really got into a discussion, finished, as is inevitable these days, with a group selfie.
Rumours that Soubry has spent the afternoon negotiating a price to get The Chuckle Brothers to accompany her to Costa Coffee are entirely made up.
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Bizarre day, but I have deep suspicions that we have weirder to come. Keep tuned to Beestonia for all oddities, including a bit of a scandal involving a naughty bit of misappropriation of funds…. Also, College House plays host to the second Beeston Hustings tonight. I have heard that Soubry isn’t bothering turning up, due to not liking Beeston Express editor Sheila, who is hosting the hustings. From 7pm. We have our guest reporter Tom to cover the event: but let us know how it goes!
Beestonia 
Surprising. I had Anne Robinson pegged as a Tory.
How can Nick Palmer even consider standing again?
He is tainted with the failures and economic disaster of the Blair/Brown government.
When Nick Palmer lost his seat five years ago, he received a £54,000 ‘Golden Goodbye’ from Parliament. £30,000 of that was tax free.
What did Nick do next? He signed on to receive Jobseekers allowance and National Insurance Credits. As far as is known, he was the first MP to do this.
Now we hear that he is against Toton being a hub for HS2. Doesn’t he realise the enormous benefits that High Speed Rail Hubs bring to an area?
The Toton HS2 hub will create jobs, and bring enormous benefits to the Broxtowe constituency in general, and Beeston, Chilwell and Toton in particular.
Perhaps Labour should have picked a new candidate. Somebody in tune with the needs and prospects of our constituency in 2015 and beyond.
Absolute rubbish, Howard. All the empirical evidence from all the existing High Speed Rail systems from around the world (reinforced by the underlying economic theory) shows that HS2 will destroy local jobs & investment. Further, HS2 will also worsen rail services for the majority of rail users, while not addressing congestion or adding any useful capacity.
Palmer is to be congratulated for his skeptical stance on HS2 and (together with Green & UKIP candidates) is the only politician who has expressed any concern for Toton residents. There has been no concern whatsoever from Toton’s councillors (borough or county) or from the MP. Polls show 75% of Toton residents are against HS2, 70% nationally. Who’s out of touch, Howard?
Palmer was an excellent MP for Toton, in that he helped with the two issues at the Sidings (the concrete crusher & the tree felling), and no doubt would be an excellent MP for Toton again. Soubry has been a monumental fiasco, completely failing to present a coherent or constructive defence to preserve Toton’s green belt and shouting down people like me who did.
As for your criticism of Palmer for signing on, anyone would think he’d just lost his job. In my experience, the first in the queue for state handouts are Tories. Your comments on the economic record of the 97-10 Labour government are also rubbish, as I’ve posted on this blog previously.